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Nice To Meet You, Hope You Guess My Name

Thu, 02/18/2010 - 14:47

I recently went on a date with a man I met online. He had it all; looks, ambition, intelligence. He was the complete package. At the end of the date he announces, very seriously, that he is the Anti-Christ and would I like to be a member of his army. Not wanting to upset Mr. Anti-Christ (hey, you never know), I politely declined then pretended to take an emergency text from my sister and got the heck out of there.

Your alias: 
Raven
You: 
Female
Your Date: 
Male
Where you met: 
Online
Average: 4.7 (6 votes)

Coppus Interuptus

Wed, 02/17/2010 - 13:42

I decided to propose to my girlfriend using the old cornball diamond ring in a glass of champagne trick. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer sitting at the table next to us in the restaurant.

When my girlfriend was distracted I discretely slipped the ring into her glass. The cop assumed it was a date rape drug.

As I was about to get down on one knee he tackled me from behind and wrestled me to the ground. I ended up bruised, bloodied, and beaten before things got straightened out.

So much for romance.

P.S. She still said yes

Your alias: 
anonymous
You: 
Male
Your Date: 
Female
Where you met: 
Mutual Friend
Average: 4.8 (12 votes)

Three's A Crowd

Mon, 02/15/2010 - 10:14

I was anxiously waiting for the guy I had a crush on to pick me up for our first date. He shows up with his son, whom I never knew about, and proceeds to take us to Chuck E. Cheese.

Your alias: 
Juanita
You: 
Female
Your Date: 
Male
Where you met: 
Work
Average: 2.7 (3 votes)

Weirdest One Night Stand Ever!!!

Fri, 02/12/2010 - 14:57

I picked up this sultry cougar at a club last weekend. She was in her early 40's, blond, about 5-6, with huge melons, round butt, and curves in all the right places. She was the kind of girl guys all fell over when she was 30.

Anyway she approached me to chat and I proceeded to buy her a bunch of drinks. She was being very forward asking me all kinds of sexual questions about what I enjoyed, what my limits were, and so on. She was obviously very into me and before long she invited me back to her place.

We were fooling around in the cab and I was getting totally turned on. When we got to her place exited the taxi and she asked the driver to wait a minute.

She then leaned in and said "I have to tell you something before you come in." She went on, "I am married, but my husband and I are swingers." She continued, "we would like to have a threesome with you, and don't worry he is straight so you won't be doing anything with him."

Your alias: 
Str8Dude!
You: 
Male
Your Date: 
Female
Where you met: 
Night Club
Average: 4.8 (5 votes)

Check Your Purse Straps Before Going On A Date Ladies

Wed, 02/10/2010 - 20:28

I was flirting with this hot guy at work for several months before he finally asked me out last Friday. We went for drinks right after work and had loads of fun. To put things in context we work for the largest courier company at the head office. There are several hundred people on our floor alone, and there are absolutely no secrets.

Anyway it started to get pretty late so we hopped on the subway; we both travel in the same direction. As we approached my stop Luke explained how much he enjoyed my company, and that he has been looking for a "respectable woman with strong family values" for a long time.

Moments later I stood up and my purse strap snapped. My purse hit the floor and most of the contents went rolling out in different directions for all to see.

Your alias: 
Lucy
You: 
Female
Your Date: 
Male
Where you met: 
Office
Average: 1 (13 votes)

Fastest Gun In The West

Tue, 02/09/2010 - 11:04

This has never happened to me before, honestly!

I went out on a date with this girl I met online. We had a wonderful time at dinner and decided to hit a club after. After dancing the night away she was pretty hammered so I offered to drive her home. When we got to her place we started making out a bit in the car. She started to rub me through my pants. I don't know what happened but in an instant it was too much for me and I exploded. There was no covering this up as the front of my jeans were soaked and she knew it.

She uttered "that's ok" politely and got out of the car. I've tried calling and texting her but not surprisingly never heard back from her.

The worst part is she has now posted this story on her Facebook page.

How embarrassing!

Your alias: 
anonymous
You: 
Male
Your Date: 
Female
Where you met: 
Match.com
Average: 4.7 (10 votes)
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