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Gaffs and mishaps

In Big Trouble!

Sun, 02/28/2010 - 09:39

I went out and got really hammered with my buddies about six weeks ago, and just found out that the older woman I had a one night stand with is six weeks pregnant.

I'm 21, she's 52, and she doesn't believe in abortion.

I'm screwed!

Your alias: 
anonymous
You: 
Male
Your Date: 
Female
Where you met: 
Dive Bar
Average: 4.5 (2 votes)

Coppus Interuptus

Wed, 02/17/2010 - 13:42

I decided to propose to my girlfriend using the old cornball diamond ring in a glass of champagne trick. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer sitting at the table next to us in the restaurant.

When my girlfriend was distracted I discretely slipped the ring into her glass. The cop assumed it was a date rape drug.

As I was about to get down on one knee he tackled me from behind and wrestled me to the ground. I ended up bruised, bloodied, and beaten before things got straightened out.

So much for romance.

P.S. She still said yes

Your alias: 
anonymous
You: 
Male
Your Date: 
Female
Where you met: 
Mutual Friend
Average: 4 (2 votes)

Check Your Purse Straps Before Going On A Date Ladies

Wed, 02/10/2010 - 20:28

I was flirting with this hot guy at work for several months before he finally asked me out last Friday. We went for drinks right after work and had loads of fun. To put things in context we work for the largest courier company at the head office. There are several hundred people on our floor alone, and there are absolutely no secrets.

Anyway it started to get pretty late so we hopped on the subway; we both travel in the same direction. As we approached my stop Luke explained how much he enjoyed my company, and that he has been looking for a "respectable woman with strong family values" for a long time.

Moments later I stood up and my purse strap snapped. My purse hit the floor and most of the contents went rolling out in different directions for all to see.

Your alias: 
Lucy
You: 
Female
Your Date: 
Male
Where you met: 
Office
Average: 1 (3 votes)

Fastest Gun In The West

Tue, 02/09/2010 - 11:04

This has never happened to me before, honestly!

I went out on a date with this girl I met online. We had a wonderful time at dinner and decided to hit a club after. After dancing the night away she was pretty hammered so I offered to drive her home. When we got to her place we started making out a bit in the car. She started to rub me through my pants. I don't know what happened but in an instant it was too much for me and I exploded. There was no covering this up as the front of my jeans were soaked and she knew it.

She uttered "that's ok" politely and got out of the car. I've tried calling and texting her but not surprisingly never heard back from her.

The worst part is she has now posted this story on her Facebook page.

How embarrassing!

Your alias: 
anonymous
You: 
Male
Your Date: 
Female
Where you met: 
Match.com
Average: 4.5 (4 votes)

Crappy Ending

Sun, 01/10/2010 - 09:41

Lois and I were on our first date. We had met through a mutual friend at a party and decided to spend most of the day together. We were really hitting it off at lunch when suddenly my IBS flared up. For those of you that don't know IBS is Irritable Bowel Syndrome.

I excused myself to go to the washroom but halfway there it was already too late.. I took a dump in my pants. It was a terrible mess when I got to the washroom... I did what I could to clean up the my underwear was toast and the smell was just awful. Now "commando" I plotted my next move.

Thinking fast I asked Lois if we could stop by The Gap, which was in the mall, and then attempted to keep as far away from her as possible. My pants were soiled on the inside and needed to be changed so I figured I could just buy a new pair and swap them out without her knowing.

Your alias: 
anonymous
You: 
Male
Your Date: 
Female
Where you met: 
Party
Average: 2.7 (3 votes)

My Small Penis

Mon, 12/28/2009 - 15:19

On my first date with Jennifer, it was so obvious that we would end up in bed together. She was oozing sex from every pore and I wanted to tap that ass like nobody’s business.

When we finally rushed our way through dinner, she recommended that we head to a bar near her house so we can loosen up and then walk to her place.

After about 3 drinks, we decided that we just couldn’t take it anymore and had to have each other. We rushed to her place and began undressing each other.

When I finally took off my boxer briefs, she blurted out, “Wow, that is one small penis.”

I was hard. It wasn’t good. I lost my erection. I left.

Your alias: 
anonymous
You: 
Male
Your Date: 
Female
Where you met: 
Club
Average: 4 (2 votes)
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