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Gaffs and mishaps

Are You Into A Ménage à Trois?

Wed, 12/09/2009 - 09:52

I am a recently separated cougar on the prowl for younger men. I am quite liberal sexually and open to trying new things. I signed up for AdultFriendFinder to meet men online since I have a pretty busy schedule.

I was chatting to this nice looking 25 year old guy. After a few emails back and forth he asked me if I would be into a Menage a Trois with another woman. I had done threesomes a few times with my ex so I said yes. After a brief telephone conversation we agreed to meet for drinks.

Well I got quite a shock when he showed up with his girlfriend and ready to get down to business. His profile said he was single, so I assumed the threesome question meant would I be interested at some point in the future if we got together. Also, I wasn't planning to sleep with anybody on the first date.

Regardless of how I ended up in this situation I decided to go with the flow... we had a blast ;-)

Your alias: 
anonymous
You: 
Female
Your Date: 
Male
Where you met: 
AdultFriendFinder
Average: 4.3 (4 votes)

I Would Appear Both Of Us Have Lied About Our Age

Fri, 12/04/2009 - 07:44

I am 48, look about 43, and say I am 39 in my FriendFinder profile. I like younger ladies, 25 to 30 range, but I rarely find one willing to date somebody over 40... hence the little fib.

Last weekend I hooked up with this "24" year old from the site for drinks. Twenty-four was a tad bit young, even for me, since I find I have nothing in common with girls that don't know who the Beatles are. Also, at some point the age gap just becomes creepy.

Anyway, this girl showed up, and I mean girl, she looked like she might be under the drinking age. Eventually we both admitted that we had made slight age adjustments in our profiles. Turns out she was 18... oh oh!

I quickly finished my drink and got the hell out of there before they arrested me for providing alcohol to a minor.

I have since amended my profile and also indicated I am absolutely not interested in anybody under 25.

Whoops!

Your alias: 
anonymous
You: 
Male
Your Date: 
Female
Where you met: 
FriendFinder
Average: 4 (3 votes)

Extremely Premature

Mon, 11/30/2009 - 07:30

I met this guy on POF and we went on a few dates. On our third date things started getting hot and heavy back at his place. We were on the couch fooling around. We were making out and he was fondling my breasts.

Then all of a sudden he got this funny look on his face and said "please stop." I was only kissing him! we laid there for about 10 seconds motionless unless he rolled his eyes back and proclaimed he had to use the washroom to clean up.

He came just from kissing, and he's 28!

I like tantric sex, this isn't going to work.

Your alias: 
anonymous
You: 
Female
Your Date: 
Male
Where you met: 
Plenty Of Fish
Average: 4.6 (5 votes)

Next Best Thing To A Condom?

Tue, 11/24/2009 - 07:28

I picked up a pretty dodgy girl at a club the other night. I didn't have a rubber although I wish I'd had. I rubbed it with a disposable wipe afterward... let's hope for the best!

Your alias: 
Bill
You: 
Male
Your Date: 
Female
Where you met: 
Club
Average: 3.8 (4 votes)

Are You The Fat One?

Fri, 11/06/2009 - 07:59

I was out on a bender with my friends last weekend. I found two phone numbers in my wallet on Sunday morning but was clueless as to where I got them. I talked to my buddy and he told me I had been hitting on two different girls that night. One girl was really fat and the other one was hot.

I started drinking last night and got bombed by about 8 o'clock. Figuring I had nothing to lose I called up one of the girls and explained "I met you and one other girl at a club on Saturday night, are you the fat one?"

There was a moment of silence and then a dial tone. I'm going out with the other chick tomorrow night, I hope she's not the fat one... will update later.

Your alias: 
Your Worst Nightmare
You: 
Male
Your Date: 
Female
Where you met: 
Club
Average: 4 (4 votes)

Damn It Was Just Part Of Her Halloween Costume!

Wed, 11/04/2009 - 21:38

I met this hot chick dressed as a barmaid at a Halloween party over the weekend. She was totally stacked and had beautiful long blond hair.

We made plans to meet for dinner tonight. When I showed up at Milestones I actually walked right past her. She grabbed me by my coat sleeve and said "hey!"

She had short black hair, was wearing glasses, and was as flat as a pancake... her big boobs and blond hair were just part of her costume. Apparently she can only wear contacts a few hours at a time, so this was as good as it was going to get.

what a disappointment!

Your alias: 
anonymous
You: 
Male
Your Date: 
Female
Where you met: 
Halloween Party
Average: 4 (4 votes)
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