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Pick Ups

Tell us about your wild and wacky pick ups, or attempts

Next Best Thing To A Condom?

I picked up a pretty dodgy girl at a club the other night. I didn't have a rubber although I wish I'd had. I rubbed it with a disposable wipe afterward... let's hope for the best!

Your alias: 
Bill
You: 
Male
Your Date: 
Female
Where you met: 
Club
Average: 3.7 (3 votes)

Bitches of East York

My buddy and I picked up a couple of babes at a club. We offered to take the girls for food and then would give them a drive home.

When we got in the car all the girls did was talk about what a cheap Gino car my friend had, and how we were such typical Italians. As we were driving to the Greek place they pointed out people and why they were such losers because they were wearing a stupid hat or cheap jeans.

This went on for the entire agonizing drive. At Mr. Greek they complained about the food, the waiter, and that we didn't take them somewhere nicer. They bragged about how they wore top labels and that most other girls at the club were tramps. At this point I had wished I picked up one of those "tramps."

Some how we resisted the urge to ditch the bitches and did drive them home after eating.

It turns out they live together in an old run down apartment building in a rough area of town. My buddy and I both own nice houses... I guess we know who the losers are.

Your alias: 
Tony
You: 
Male
Your Date: 
Female
Where you met: 
Mink
Average: 3.3 (3 votes)

Are You The Fat One?

I was out on a bender with my friends last weekend. I found two phone numbers in my wallet on Sunday morning but was clueless as to where I got them. I talked to my buddy and he told me I had been hitting on two different girls that night. One girl was really fat and the other one was hot.

I started drinking last night and got bombed by about 8 o'clock. Figuring I had nothing to lose I called up one of the girls and explained "I met you and one other girl at a club on Saturday night, are you the fat one?"

There was a moment of silence and then a dial tone. I'm going out with the other chick tomorrow night, I hope she's not the fat one... will update later.

Your alias: 
Your Worst Nightmare
You: 
Male
Your Date: 
Female
Where you met: 
Club
Average: 3.7 (3 votes)

Damn It Was Just Part Of Her Halloween Costume!

I met this hot chick dressed as a barmaid at a Halloween party over the weekend. She was totally stacked and had beautiful long blond hair.

We made plans to meet for dinner tonight. When I showed up at Milestones I actually walked right past her. She grabbed me by my coat sleeve and said "hey!"

She had short black hair, was wearing glasses, and was as flat as a pancake... her big boobs and blond hair were just part of her costume. Apparently she can only wear contacts a few hours at a time, so this was as good as it was going to get.

what a disappointment!

Your alias: 
anonymous
You: 
Male
Your Date: 
Female
Where you met: 
Halloween Party
Average: 4 (2 votes)

I Just Had A Go With Twins!

I never thought this was possible in real-life. I was out on a bender with my mates last night and met twins at the pub.

I brought them home and had a go with each of them. These dolls were something special... it's a night I will remember forever.

Too bad they are from Canada and I'll never see them again.

Your alias: 
anonymous
You: 
Male
Your Date: 
Female
Where you met: 
Barney's Pub
Average: 3 (4 votes)

Pick Up Lightning Round

I was at a club the other night and it just happened to be one of those times where there was a huge imbalance in ratio of women to men. No, not like Canada Post, the other way... this place was loaded with women, probably 3 to 1 odds.

Figuring this was the opportunity of a lifetime, I sprung into action. Foregoing all the usual preamble I just walked up to chicks and proclaimed, "hello, I'm Jack, you're cute, can I have your number?" I rinsed and repeated about a dozen times, and ended up with 4 numbers... pretty damn great!

I guess it just goes to show you that dating really is a numbers game.

Happy hunting.

Your alias: 
You Don't Know Jack
You: 
Male
Your Date: 
Female
Where you met: 
Wonder Bar
Average: 2.7 (3 votes)
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