I decided to propose to my girlfriend using the old cornball diamond ring in a glass of champagne trick. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer sitting at the table next to us in the restaurant.

When my girlfriend was distracted I discretely slipped the ring into her glass. The cop assumed it was a date rape drug.

As I was about to get down on one knee he tackled me from behind and wrestled me to the ground. I ended up bruised, bloodied, and beaten before things got straightened out.

So much for romance.

P.S. She still said yes

My boyfriend and I were having a lot of trouble with our relationship so we agreed to see other people... well ok, he agreed for both of us.

Anyway, I decided to give eHarmony a whirl. After about 6 weeks I weeded out several guys and ended up arranging a date with the one guy I seemed compatible with.

I walked into Starbucks excited about my date, when there low and behold was my ex buying a coffee. "What the hell are you doing here," I asked?

"I'm here on a date he exclaimed, what about you?" I didn't want to own up to being on eHarmony so I said I was just grabbing a coffee and leaving.