Back in my more formative days I went out with this girl from Webpersonals (the old brand for Lavalife).

This girl was extremely anxious to go out and was quite attractive so who was I to say no. We met for coffee at Tim Hortons. All she did was talk about how she wanted to get married and have kids... a totally one track mind. When I asked her what time frame she was thinking of she said definitely this year!

Once I got out of there I wrote her a nice note saying that we were looking for different things and wished her the best of luck in her search. She immediately responded with a letter of biblical proportions. She went on and on about how all men were pigs and she'd find a way to get even. She didn't have my phone number, last name, or real email address; I wasn't overly concerned. I blocked her on Webpersonals and didn't give it a second thought.

I was browsing the personals on AFF and came across what appeared to be a pretty hot stripper that lived close by.

I had always wanted to date, well ok bang a stripper and figured this might be my chance. In her photos "Lola" had long blond hair, a statuesque body, big firm boobs, and a young looking and very pretty face.

Fast forward to our date. Lola's photos were about 20 years old! Her blond hair was ragged and multicolored, she had a little pounch going, her boobs looked more like pancakes, and her face looked as if she had been in dark smokey bars for the past 20 years; oh right, she had been.

She showed up in a tight thin white dress that left nothing to the imagination. As we sat at the empty patio bar I could see up the bottom of her thigh high dress, she wasn't wearing any underwear and was completely shaved.