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Too Scary, Even for this Category

I met a woman online who lived in New York and I live over in England. After six months of emailing and IMs she suggested I come to the USA and stay with her for a couple weeks. She also said she was totally in love with me and couldn't live without me!

So after seeing the photos of her and deciding that she looked pretty good and seemed normal, I booked my flight and came over. My nightmare began almost immediately. First, she wasn't anything like I expected. She had short greasy hair, and she didn't even bother to dress up or anything. She wore ripped dirty safari shorts and a t-shirt that was egg-stained and ripped. I tried to look past these points and convinced myself that she didn't have time to get dressed up or anything.

Your alias: 
anonymous
You: 
Male
Your Date: 
Female
Where you met: 
FriendFinder
Average: 4.3 (11 votes)

PoorlyTimed Fart

I met this girl on Lavalife and took her to see Star Trek on our third date. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theater. My date went to the bathroom, and never came back.

Your alias: 
Frank the farter
You: 
Male
Your Date: 
Female
Where you met: 
Lavalife
Average: 4.3 (8 votes)

Are You Into A Ménage à Trois?

I am a recently separated cougar on the prowl for younger men. I am quite liberal sexually and open to trying new things. I signed up for AdultFriendFinder to meet men online since I have a pretty busy schedule.

I was chatting to this nice looking 25 year old guy. After a few emails back and forth he asked me if I would be into a Menage a Trois with another woman. I had done threesomes a few times with my ex so I said yes. After a brief telephone conversation we agreed to meet for drinks.

Well I got quite a shock when he showed up with his girlfriend and ready to get down to business. His profile said he was single, so I assumed the threesome question meant would I be interested at some point in the future if we got together. Also, I wasn't planning to sleep with anybody on the first date.

Regardless of how I ended up in this situation I decided to go with the flow... we had a blast ;-)

Your alias: 
anonymous
You: 
Female
Your Date: 
Male
Where you met: 
AdultFriendFinder
Average: 4.3 (4 votes)

I Like Older Women But This Is Ridiculous!

I met up for a date with this lady from Plenty Of Fish. I'm 24 and don't mind dating a little older, up to about 35 or so if she takes care of herself.

She claimed to be 33 in her profile... yes, this is perhaps a typo, she must be at least 45.

I had to sit there through drinks for nearly 40 minutes while she rambled on about how much better I looked in my photos. Finally I couldn't take any more.

She asked me whether I thought she looked better than her photos. Using the opening I said... "I'll tell you this... you look about 10 years older than your photos, you may want to consider stating your real age so you don't embarrass yourself and waste another guy's time!"

Before she could say anything I got up, threw $20 on the table, and left.

Your alias: 
anonymous
You: 
Male
Your Date: 
Female
Where you met: 
Plenty Of Fish
Average: 4.3 (4 votes)

Rhymes With a Part of the Female Anatomy?

I was on Lavalife and chatting with about a dozen different women. It was very confusing trying to keep track of everybody.

I ended up taking one lady to dinner at The Keg. Her name was Breena, or so I thought. I called her that a few times during dinner and she stared at me like I had two heads.

Thinking I was brilliant I slipped away to the men's room and checked her emails on my Blackberry. Ah, this is Lisa, got it, I thought.

Well turns out I wasn't so crafty. I got back to the table, promptly asked "Lisa" how she's enjoying her duck. She retorted, "you know, my name isn't Lisa, nor is it Breena!"

I had read the wrong email! So there we sat for the rest of the evening, me clueless about her name, and her not about to tell me.

The next morning I awoke to "Laura's" email. She suggested that maybe I shouldn't have so many different women on the go. I guess I had it coming, but that wasn't going to slow me down.

Your alias: 
Thomas
You: 
Male
Your Date: 
Female
Where you met: 
Lavalife
Average: 4.2 (9 votes)

Flying Low

After chasing after this girl online for months she finally agreed to go for a coffee. She seemed to be smiling and laughing a lot so I assumed she was really into me.

Turns out my pants were unzipped the whole time... and she has now posted this on her Facebook wall!

Your alias: 
Hernan
You: 
Male
Your Date: 
Female
Where you met: 
Facebook
Average: 4.2 (5 votes)
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